Harlequin
by I-am-ImperfectAngel
Summary: The story tells the lives of 3 glorious, villianous teenagers. Columbine, the one with the worst reputation. Pant-a-loon, the strong, silent, watcher of the team, and the lovely Juliet, as Harlequin. The only child, of the Joker and Harley Quin.
1. Chapter 1

Harlequinade

Sirens blared and red lights flashed everywhere. She looked back over her shoulder at the guards rushing up to her. "Ugh, _brilliant._" she huffed. She looked at the glass window in front of her, she was on the second story of the banks building. She needed to get out, but the armed guards coming up the stairs made sure she wasn't going out the way she cam. She reached down to her hip and thought, "What goes up, must go down,". She pulled out her pistol and shot the glass out. She ran straight for her new exit and jumped. The fall wasn't high enough to do any damage, but I could hurt your feet after you hit the ground. She had gotten used to it by now, after months of it. She had found a way to avoid the pain by landing swiftly and well cat like. Seeing that it was her dear Auntie Selena Kyle had taught her the move, cat like was the perfect way of putting it.

She ran a few blocks and hid back behind an alley until the guards gave up looking for her. For a girl who makes a living out of standing out, whenever she tries her hardest, she can blend in rather well. She panted and looked down at what she had stolen. A black banded diamond encrusted watch. "All his trouble _for a watch!"_ she huffed. "What does Colly want with this thing anyway?" she asked herself. She pulled at her new phone and scrolled threw the numbers saved into it. Columbine had her steal this a few weeks before. "_If I keep making these question less heists for him I might as well change my name to Carpet!"_ she thought angrily. That was her godmother Ivy's name for her mother. But Juliet was different from her mother. She'd ask Columbine what was going on with the crazy heists when she returned.

"Hey, Lovely, I got that watch you wanted." she said into the phone. "_Excellent, a Periot will be there to pick you up any minute now,"_ the voice on the phone told her. She hid the fact that the boys voice made her swoon, she peered down the corner. "No need," she reached for hip, and glared at the guy unlocking a '69 Mustang. A shot echoed on the phone and Juliet said, "I have my own ride." she assured. "_Great then, I'll see you in a few. Love you,"_ he said. "Love you too, bye". She hung up the phone. She stared at Columbines caller id photo on her phone. "God I love that boy." she smiled to herself. She placed her phone back into her back pocket and gazed happily at her new ride.

She ran her fingers over the red racing stripes on the hood as she walked over to the drivers side. At 14, she knew it was illegal for her to drive. Did that stop her though?

She flew down the roads, flanked by at least a dozen Periot cars. An unstoppable fact about being in the Harlequinade, is that for every one that you see. There's at least a couple dozen you don't see. The back roads to Harlequinade house were tricky, and they took some time to drive down. Meanwhile, Columbine was watching the secretly watching her and the cars on security cameras. "She's getting good at all this you know. It comes naturally almost." Pant-a-loon said. "I know. And if you had her parents, it would come naturally to you as well." Columbine said he sat back in his chair. "Why do you keep testing her like this?" Pant-a-loon asked. "I mean, she seems t-", "I know what she _seems,_ like. I test her to make sure I'm right." Columbine cut him off. "Right of what exactly?" Pant-a-loon asked. Columbine paused and sighed, "you'll see." he promised.

Right then, the front doors of the mansion bursted open, and the laughter and cheers of victory filled the foyer. The voice that stood out the most to Columbine voice the voice of the one he loved. He walked out onto the foyer and smiled down at Juliet. Out of all the hooting and hollering, she still noticed him and smiled back up at him. She ran up the stairs, quick and nimble, as she always is. She ran and wrapped him in a hug, "I'm ba-ack!" she exclaimed in a sing song voice. She reached down to her pocket, and grabbed something. "With that watch they made such a fuss over." she said. He looked down at her, "Excellent heist my dear," he told her. She blushed "Aw shucks, anything for you babe." she said playfully hitting his shoulder.

He raised an eyebrow and gave a mischievous half smile, "Anything?"

He might just have to take him up on that. Juliet, was very important to not only to the Harlequinade, but to him. And she was naturally brilliant at being part of a group of thieves. And who wouldn't be with her background?

Her parents were psychos. And not just regular psychos, they are _the_ psychos. I'm talking the Legends of Gotham City villains.

Harley Quin, and The Joker.


	2. Juliet then and now

Chapter 2

Juliet, Then and Now

I took Juliet out of the group to my more secluded office. She was smiling, and I noticed something. "Where's your bow?" I asked her. She looked up and blew the hair out her face, "I took it out so I could run." she replied. "Here let me help you put it back in." I said. She handed me the white silk bow with a clip attached in the back. It was her iconic bow on the side of her head that keeps her hair out of her face that I always look for. It's something she always wears, and it comes in a variety of colors. On some rare occasions they'll even let her wear it in Arkham. Unless she finds out how to somehow hurt someone with it, which she probably could.

She tried not to let me see how much she was blushing, but it was kind of hard not to notice. To calm herself down she started asking me questions, "Hey Colly, why do you keep making me steal such random things?" she looked up at me. "A watch, a phone, some cash? What's the deal here?" she asked. "No reason," I answered. She didn't seem too happy with such a short answer. I knew she wouldn't just keep quiet and do it, and I didn't expect that from her. She may look like her mother, but she didn't act like her entirely. She'd find out some way to make me tell her, she was clever and sneaky like that. Something she gets from her dad I expect.

A good word to describe my Juliet is crazy. She's legally insane, she's kill crazy, she's crazy _hot. _She's crazy over me, the list can go on and on. Another good way to picture her, is if the Joker switched bodies with Harley Quinn. She's can be just as scary as her dad when she wants to be. But then again, she can be just as cute and feisty as her mother sometimes. But no matter how she acts, she can definitely find some way to cause you pain. Mainly because she knows a lot about pain. It's huge part of her.

Juliet was born to a surrogate mother. Because do you honestly believe that the doctors at Arkham would dare let Harley Quin have the Jokers kid? But as much as they were against letting the villains have a child, they were even more against killing it. So she grew up not knowing who her real parents were. They called her Rose. Not many doctors at Arkham even knew. Let alone The Joker.

When she turned 12, her parents divorced. Her loving mother, won custody over her 4 other siblings. Her older brother Rodrick, who has throat cancer, her "twin", Violet, and her youngest two siblings, Jake and Tyler. Her mother tried to gain custody over Rose as well, but the government saw her to weak to keep her from her real parents if they ever came to find her. She also won the family's second home in Verona Italy, and that's where they now live. Leaving my poor Juliet in the care, of her merciless father, Bertonini Bard. Who treated her more like a toy than a daughter.

But that's not exactly my point here.

The reason why I test Juliet, is to see if I send her out, would she come back? I have a lot riding on her. A lot more than anybody even knows. Allow me to explain.

Harlequin now, is a beautiful, lethal, playful killing machine. Who seems to flirt with the lines between cute and innocent, and scary and crazy.

But months ago, my Juliet was in a much sadder state. You see before we met, she lived in and out of a run down apartment with her dad, (not her real dad, but Bert), the ER, and Arkham. Probably spending at least 4 months a year at each.

Growing up, she always received strange gifts each year for her birthday and Christmas. One red and black present with diamond wrapping, usually containing a practical joke or a doll, clothes, and two hyena pups one year (both of which where sent to live at Gotham Central Zoo, but they now live with us). The next a floral wrapped one, containing a deadly plant, the sweetest smelling perfumes, and some venomous lip gloss. And the third present, sleek and black, containing rock climbing how-to books, her pet cat Luxor, and one of her favorites, a whip.

Last year on her birthday, the red and black gift, the one she usually looks forward to the most, sat on her bed. It had a note attached to it.

"_Dearest Kiddo,_

_I know I've been a real crummy mother to ya over the years, but here's how I'm gonna repay ya!"_

The gift was a stunning black and red dress, and an invitation to the annual Ritz Gotham Christmas Ball. They were welcoming some sort of foreign prince to Gotham.

Big Mistake.

_Flashback_

As soon as the elevator doors opened panic filled the room. "Evening Hostages!" I greeted. I let out a couple rounds from my pistol. Horrified screams made music to my ears. The armed Periots behind me filed out keeping the people scared and under control. I looked around the room. Funny thing was, I only showed up to see the panic. It was my favorite part of all this villainy. The people fearing you, treating you like your the royalty of the room, even if there is someone with a higher title in the room. I wasn't planning on doing much, scare some people, eat some the fine food, maybe make a threat on the prince's life once or twice. What I wasn't expecting, was what I got.

A girl in the crowd stood looking past the Periot guards up to me. But not with a look of horror like all the other teen girls around her. They were all together, trying to get the attention of the prince. But she seemed to be there only because the prince was seeking her attention.

The look in her eyes was more piercing than any bullet, and twice as deadly. What I saw in her face wasn't fear, but more like curiosity, wonder, and desire. I think she wasn't so much scared because she was afraid of me, but because she wasn't.

When I looked at her, my head immediately went into it's usually kiss or kill reaction when I see a girl. And I was definitely not about to kill such a pretty face. At my command the guard let her past and she approached me. It seemed that with every silent step she took, I began falling down some sort of cliff. It give me that top of a roller coaster butterflies in your stomach feeling. But I like roller coasters, so I was greatly enjoying it.

I put my gun up to her head, "How's 'bout a kiss?" I said, "Or your life!". The whole room gasped. But she seemed to like the idea. "Stop!" The prince commanded in a funny accent. Without even looking at him I shot in his direction. I think I took out a waiter, or at least hit him. I just remember hearing a guy make a funny noise when he hit the ground and champagne glasses breaking. But I was to occupied with the little beauty staring up at me, and how soft her lips looked.

Now, I don't just fall for any girl. Juliet, was special. And I knew she was the girl for me when our lips touched. Because I didn't even had my gun pointed at her and she still did it. But then, right in the middle of our fun, the cops came in and ruined it. Right when we were getting in to it to.

The cops came in through the same elevator I did, filled with armed SWAT team members. Pretty sure they even had the bat symbol on. And I don't care how many cheers and sighs of relief they got from the crowd, my entrance was way better.

"Alright Columbine, you've had your fun. Let her go!" the chief said. I looked up in a random direction and pretended to think. "Hmm let's see, um... _No!_" I shouted. I held her to me and gunned our way to the nearest elevator. The crowds filled with panic disappeared when the golden doors of the elevator shut. I shot the security camera and uncovered her mouth. "You know," she said. "For a murderous psycho, you not a bad kisser." she said. Her comment turned me on, but I couldn't let her know that. "Well you weren't exactly resisting." I replied. To be quite honest, she was amazing.

The elevator door opened on the 24th floor, and she lead me down the hall and unlocked her suite. Once we were safe inside, she did yet another thing unexpected. She down on her bed causally, as if I was her friend or something. I cocked the gun, and pointed at her. She didn't flinch. "Any last words?" I asked her. She giggled, "Please, your not going to kill me!". This angered me and I got closer, she just simply reached for her pillow mint. "I'm not scared to kill you if that's what you think. I've killed before, _I can kill you-"_

"_Then do it!"_ she yelled. It staggered back. Her face was pretty when she's serious. And her exclamation left me speechless. "If you were going to kill me then you would of done it already." she added pooping the mint in her mouth. I was still silent. Then her tone turned kind of sad. "my only wonder is," she looked at me "why haven't you?".

To be quite honest, I was asking myself the same question. I look at her, she was staring at me with a curious, and concerned look. I could almost see longing in it even, but for what? It couldn't of been me, no. We just met, there's no way she could of fallen for me. Where's the proof that could ever happen? I sighed. Because I realized, I just met her, and I've fallen for her. So it it possible for her to have fallen for me.

That thought, and looking at her, made me do something really stupid and crazy. I reached up and stared peeling my black domino mask off, "Here, lets talk for real."

Some how, this chick got me to spill my entire life out to her, and she listened. The scariest part? I was happy to tell her. Which is not like me _at all_. I was shocked. I'm one of those people who keeps everything to themselves. The cops and the Harlequinade don't even know my real name! And yet this chick whom I've barley met, suddenly get's me to sing like a canary.

That thought, also made me do something stupid, and crazy. I paused and sat on the hotel bed. "I can believe I just did that," I kept thinking. Years of silence, and the moment this little diamond came along, it all went down the drain. What a minute, diamond? I looked at again. Her figure and eyes looked incredibly familiar for some reason. I put that away for later. If there would be a later. The thought that I had just told all my deepest and darkest secrets to a beautiful strange terrified me to my breaking point.

I pulled my switchblade out, and put the black iron to my throat.

She didn't like that, so she intervened. I did cut myself though, but it was know more than a scratch. But it bled a lot thought and I wound up passing out. And when I woke up the next morning, it was outstanding.

I was still in the same hotel room, with the same girl there. Also, there was about 2 dozen cops. I played unconscious thinking about how I was going to kill this chick for turning me in. But that's when I singled in on her voice. She was crying. I hadn't even touched her yet why is she crying? So I listened in to what she and Gordon were talking about.

"So after Columbine jumped out the window, I went back for the guy in the hall. He got hurt trying to save me so helping him was the least I could do!" she sobbed. I saw Gordon nod. "Mm-hmm, so the guy in the bed is just a innocent bystander who got hurt?" I kept hearing her sob, "Yes sir,". It was brilliant. And you know what? THEY BELIEVED HER! I'm serious all the cops and investigators and even Gordon all LEFT! I was amazed.

She started pacing in front of the bed saying, "Omigod I can't believe I just did that!" she exclaimed with a laugh. She looked in the mirror, "They were not kidding when they said I was insane." I let out a humorless chuckle and leaned my feet over the edge of the bed. I rubbed my head an said "Oh please, I've been admitted to more asylums more times than you ever will." She looked at me, "How many times?" she asked. I gave an odd look, what an odd question. "330," I answered. She smiled and chuckled, "Ha, I'm 450. But I'm not to sure I should be proud of that?"

I was amazed, but happy at her fact. I looked at her again, ad realized who she reminded me of. One of my most favorite people in this country, the one my family looks up to. The brilliant, Harley Quinn.


	3. How far does it take to hit the ground?

Chapter 3

How Long Does It Take To Hit the Ground?

Life with Bert was never easy. I grew up with him throwing poker and drinking parties. Our apartment always smelt like smoke, gas, and alcohol. I despised that man. He's broken more laws than my real dad even and the government let him get away with it. All because they didn't want me to meet my real parents. Bert had everything done for him. The government payed for our apartment every month. They payed for my medical expenses, our crummy food, Bert's cigarettes and beer. He didn't have a job. And anything he wanted he got. But anything I wanted, I had to earn. Bert always told me if misbehaved, he'd take away my allowance, make me go to bed without supper, or suspend my TV time. What allowance? All the money I had I earned. I have a job as a performer in one of Maroni's clubs. And the supper, I was out with my other performers every night either out to dinner or making music videos to promote the club. And TV time? He must've meant his little tacky TV in the living room. My job gave me the money to buy my own laptop, PSP, HD Flat screen, and multiple phones (I always experiment with explosions, and cell phones make brilliant detonators).

But that aside, I got around pretty well. Whenever Bert was angry, or really drunk, or a mixture of the two, he'd beat me into the hospital. He's done things that would've easily been called child abuse, or maybe even homicide, but the government always let him get away with it. He had a crack supply once that the police found, and still he didn't even get a citation. But I stayed out of that place a lot. Staying the night at my friend Storms house, dancing the night away at Maroni's club, or just chilling out in the ER or Arkham. I have to say that the nurses and doctors at the ER where probably the nicest ones to me growing up. I had my own room there, and they expected me to come, even if they had just released me.

There's a big difference between the ER an Arkham. The people are way nicer at the ER, and the food is way better also. At Arkham, they look at you like your some sort of misbehaving mutt. They stick their noses up at you. I think working there makes them feel good. That everything around them is not half as important as they are. They don't show you any kindness in my wing. Even though I had never really done anything wrong, I still somehow managed to rank as C Block prisoner. The same as all of Gotham's finest criminals. Poison Ivy, Jonathan Crane (the Scarecrow), The Mad Hatter, and Harvey Two-Face. I got to meet them all. Save the Joker. They never let me meet him, mainly because sometimes he was kept in solitary confinement. But on the rare days we did get to be in the cafeteria or Rec. Room together, the guards always made sure we were on opposite sides of the room at all times.

I nearly broke my neck dozens of times straining to get a look at him. Even though we was the most notorious and evil villain in Gotham, he was my hero. I looked up to him. Literally. In my bedroom in Bert's apartment, it looked like a normal teenage girl's room. Posters of pleasant things covered my walls and billboard like plastic covers on a couch. But when the door shut, and I was alone, (which was often) I would reveal what was on the back of those posters. News paper articles and pictures of Harley Quinn and The Joker shared the space on my roof. My other walls were about the other villains of Gotham, and the back of my closet doors were about the Bat Brats.

But I had my entire billboard devoted to the Harlequinade. Mostly on Columbine. He fascinated me. He was so young, and yet he was just as bad as all my other friends at Arkham. Plus he had power to control over all the Harlequinade, even Pant-a-loon, an others older than he was. I discovered many things about the Harlequinade. Like the fact that there's always 69 members, no matter what. And the ever popular rumor of the Harlequinade House. A place where the entire Harlequinade lives and plots. The police rid off this rumor to calm the public, but I always believed it existed.

After that night in the hotel, I couldn't stop thinking about Columbine. I had followed him for a while, nobody knew anything about him. They simply knew him as dangerous. And he liked that. The cops didn't know his name, his age, where he lived or anything. I had information about him that they didn't. He was only a year older than I was. He was Italian, like most villains in this town. Then unimportant things like how we have our hair parted on the same side, he likes to blare music whenever he works, that fact is known by everyone in Gotham, but they don't know that I actually like the music he plays. And just other small things that wouldn't matter to the police. But somehow they mattered to me.

He somehow mattered a lot to me. And how could I ever forget the night he found that out too.

_Flashback_

I was sitting in my room on my bed. I was off tonight from the club, so I was checking off banks that had been robbed lately with my highlighters. My phone vibrated, so I picked it up. My friend Storm had just texted me saying she just saw the bat symbol go up. Right when I read that, the TV flashed to a breaking news report. I was on the edge of my bed when I saw who Robin was fighting. The anchor-man's voice narrated. "This is a clip from just now," I lost track of what he was saying after that. Columbine was being backed into a ledge by Robin, Batman and a bunch of cops. The camera view was from a helicopter. Columbine and Robin were standing on a ledge, and I saw Columbine look down. I became terrified because I knew what he was thinking. He looked back to Robin, smiled, and jumped off the building.

I gasped and started tearing up. Because there was nothing for him to land on. The anchor-man's voice seemed relieved, "And now were certain that the notorious criminal known as Columbine, is dead. I mean look at that fall! There's no way he could've survived that." I paused the TV. And finally I couldn't hold it in anymore. I broke down, almost to shocked to cry.

"ROSE! What's going on in there! Why are you crying!" Bert yelled.

"Shut it Bert! I'm,... I'm watching Titanic! Just,... shut up!" I sobbed. I was crying uncontrollably now.

"You know, your a lot more upset than I thought you'd be." a voice said.

Shocked, I turned to my window. Columbine sat in my window frame, he was pretty beat up, but he was actually there! I was to stunned to speak, so I just ran up and hugged him. "How in the world!"

He unfolded his hand, "Invisible string," he explained. He had set up a net of it. I held it, "Of course." I said. The wonders of duct tape and invisible was one of the things we talked about. I punched him a few times, "_Don't you ever do that to me again! You had me worried sick! I thought you were dead!"_

"Ok, ok, OW! I'm sorry," he said. We both paused, "Whoa," we both said. "Did I just say I was sorry?" he asked. I was just as shocked as he was. "Yeah you did," I said. "Wowwww,".

We were both thinking the same thing. He hadn't said he was sorry for anything in years. "How do you do that?" he exclaimed. "Do what?" I asked getting defensive, I haven't done anything. "How do you make be all, ugh... you know!" he growled. "Gee, thanks for being clear. I totally understand what you mean now." I said sarcastically. "You make me act all, …. Good. STOP IT! I HAVE A REP TO UPHOLD!" he staggered back after that, that's when I realized that he was really hurt.

"Come here dummy." I walked into my bathroom and pulled out the first aid kit. I'd had plenty of wounds like this before so I knew exactly what to do. I love it how even though he was one of the most feared villains in Gotham, he still acted like a child with a skint knee while I was playing doctor. "Stop it! It stings!" he wailed. "It's hydrogen peroxide! And just wait a minute." He did, reluctantly. Then the looked on his faced eased when it stopped hurting. When I was done bandaging him up, I patted his head. "Now was that so bad?", I asked handing him a sucker I had on my desk, (I always have candy around, no matter where I am.).

"I guess not, seeing that I have a really nice nurse." he smiled. I blushed. It got even redder once a thunderous snore echoed from the living room. Colly shot back, "What, was _that?"_ he asked. I rubbed my forehead. "Oh, just dear old dad." I got up and opened my door, revealing an unconscious Bert in a chair, surrounded by empty beer cans. "Colly, meet Bert." I said with a look of disgust on my face. "That's your dad?" he asked stunned. "Unfortunately." I admitted. "Gross. I mean, ugh.." he said a bit embarrassed. "Oh no, he's revolting, insult him however many times you wish. I won't get mad. I hate that man." I told him. "But then again, who doesn't?" I said closing my door.

I yawned and looked at the clock, 3:30 am. "Wow I, guess I should get going then, seeing that it's so-" I cut him off. "Are you serious?" I asked. I looked up at me, "What?" he said leaning back in through the window. "I may have bandaged you up, but you are in no way ready to get up and go somewhere." I warned.

"I got here didn't I?"

"The building you jumped off of was two blocks from my house! And you didn't even walk you,... swung from your little strings you had set up and, dufarky." I said. "Dufarky?" he repeated laughing. "It's a word my friends and I made up when we don't know what somethings called. Also, it sounds funny." I explained. "Riiight. I'll just be leaving now,"

"Can you even walk?" I asked. He rolled his eyes. He tried to stand up, he got up, and fell onto my bed.

"Mm-hm," I said. "Ok, ok, you've made your point." he admitted sitting up on the bed. "So if I can't leave, where do I go." I gave him an odd look. "you know for a teenage evil genius, you sure are dumb." I said.

I opened my arms wide, gesturing to my room. "Here you moron!" I yelled.

"Here? Are you sure?" he asked. "Yeah sure, what's mine is yours. I always have people here." I admitted sitting on the bed next to him. "Why thank you. How will you ever repay you?" he asked. "Oh, just see it as now you owe me a night in your bed,-room. Bedroom." I said. "nice save." he chuckled.

So that's how he figured out I cared about him. I freaked out when I thought he was dead, I doctored up his wounds, and let him share my bed. Nothing happened, we basically just talked each other to sleep. He woke up with me gone though. I had church, but I left him food and cash. I got back and he was there. That day, after church, turned out to be the best day of my entire life.

**_A/N_**

**_dooh far key is how you pronounce it lol. And I'm so sorry it takes a while for me to type, I'm a fast typer, that just doesn't get a chance on a computer a lot. I will update soon. Happy Spring Break!_**


	4. The Tragic Death of Rose Bard

Chapter 4

The Tragic Death of Rose Bard

"Ok, Mr. Ross, for the fifth time, what do you know about the relationship between your leader, Columbine, and his innocent victim Miss Rose Nicole Bard?" asked the therapist. I rolled my eyes. Here at Arkham, I'm sentenced to an hour of therapy everyday. And everyday now, they keep asking me that same question. All I really new about her was that Columbine had fallen head over heels for her. And when she was found dead at the scene of a crime that Columbine had helped commit, he was accused for her murder. But I know for a fact, that he wouldn't dare touch her. Allow me to explain better.

After that night in the hotel, he wouldn't stop smiling. Which was definitely odd for him. I was pleased with his change of attitude. One night, he didn't come home after a heist. Everyone thought he was dead, until a few days later. But when he did come home the next day, he was well,...he looked,... like a normal teenage boy. Columbine, is never, _ever_, caught without his mask. And he always wears fancy suits, always looking like he's about to go to some sort of ball. Like a prince.

But that day, he came home at around 4:30, without his mask, in abercrombie and Fitch clothes. Smiling. "Dude, hey hey, what's with you Columbine?" I asked. Still smiling, he raised up his hand, "Please, call me by my real name Dan." he asked. "_**Romeo?**___You never go by Romeo." I said amazed. "Where have you been all day?"

"Amusement Park."

"Wha- why?"

"I was with," he gazed up happily, "_her_ again."

I stepped back, "Wow, you know what, I HAVE, to meet this chick." I demanded. "Oh you are, tonight. Get dressed. We're headin' to _Club Guivento_ tonight. She works there." he explained.

So we got ready and headed out. I know this club, simply because it's youth dance team is all over the papers. They're the clubs namesake, Guivennto, means youth in Italian. I hear a lot about the shows usual lead, that she's a real firecracker. One who doesn't stick to one type of music, but blends them all together into a brilliant performance. We sat down and we started looking around. We saw a lot of waitresses, but none of them Columbine said was her. Then an announcer spoke, introducing the dancers, and the song "Evacuate the Dance floor" came on, and I looked to the stage. "Whoa, hey Col, that her?" I gaped.

"Where?"

I pointed to the firecracker singing and dancing on stage, "There"

His jaw dropped and he smiled.

This chick was _amazing._ She put the other dancers to shame and it was fantastic. She knew all eyes were on her. "That's her alright." I could see why Columbine was crazy about this chick, everything about her seemed perfect for him. It was like, she was what Columbine would be if he was a girl. She sang, and danced, and never missed a beat. She looked amazing. Her voice was brilliant, I didn't like this song actually, I was raised on real backwoods, country music. But I loved it when she sang it. We actually got up and danced, her melody was so infectious. She knew Columbine was going to be there, so I bet she cranked it up a notch just for him. But the show and everything was amazing.

But then... A few days later...

_Flashback_

We were meeting up with some mob bosses out at the pier. It had been threatening to rain all day, which it usually does in Gotham it's a really dreary city. Me and about twenty Pierrot henchmen were keeping watch outside the meeting building. I heard through the grapevine that Robin was already here, but sometimes we tell ourselves this just to keep us on our edge.

It all went down, when two Pierrot down. I ran across the corner and saw the boy blunder. He jumped through a window before I could reach him. Luckily, the window wasn't the meeting room. But, apparently, it was were they say Columbine, was holding a hostage. Now I know for a fact, my boy wouldn't do anything to hurt that girl. And how she wound up tied to a chair, blindfolded, and gagged, in the same exactly place were the Bats somehow knew we were going to be defies me. We were set up, by God knows Who. But we sure did feel the pain of it.

From my point of view, I was running to tell the bosses the premises had been breached and for everyone to scatter. Then when they were gone I approached Columbine, "Why is your girlfriend your hostage?" I yelled.

"What are you talking about? I didn't take her hostage!" he snapped.

I pointed to the window, "Then how do you explain that!"

Robin was carrying an unconscious Rose Bard out a window. I could see Columbines blood boiling. He bolted after him.

Outside, the Bat-mobile was parked and the Dark Knight was going at it with the Joker. I could see Columbine fighting Robin, but I couldn't find the girl.

Finally, the Joker hit a button on his cufflink, and the Bat-mobile started it's self. Batman, was shocked, as he watch his precious car go at least 250, into the water. Batgirl, who had jumped out the car just in time, was helped off the ground by Robin. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah I'm fine, but omigosh, There's a girl in there!" she screamed in panic.

"What do you mean a girl!" Columbine yelled.

"A girl! She was stuffed into the trunk! I don't know who did but, "

They all stared into the water.

"Oh, my, God," I muttered. A whole bunch of people all rushed for the now sinking Bat-mobile. Columbine, who couldn't swim, (city slicker, he never grew up anywhere near water, so why swim?) had at least 15 Pierrot's in the the water. I jumped in, (I could swim since I was a kid on the farm) and being a very strong swimmer (swimming up river in my town was a right of passage) I was the one that got to it first.

I kicked the trunk of the car/tank a few times before it finally opened. She looked pitiful. It broke my heart to see this once beautiful performer, who stole the heart of a thief, now floating helplessly and sadly in the murky green water. I grabbed her by the waist and swam us both to the top.

Now you know a thief is serious about a girl, that when she's hurt, he'll call 911, even if means getting caught. But by the time we were up on the ground, the medics were up and preforming a whole bunch of supposed life saving procedures. None of them worked. Every bad guy had scattered, leaving the Harlequinade and the Bats alone with the cops and medics. They hauled Rose into the back of an ambulance, and Columbine fought to go with her but they wouldn't let him. As we watched the ambulance drive off, the cops but us all in handcuffs. Only 5 Pierrots out 0f 40 were let on the scene. We had the rest follow the ambulance, the mobsters, or heading home to tell the tale. But even the Bats were cuffed up.

"Hey! Chief O'Hara, what gives?" Robin complained as he was cuffed. "Were the good guys," Batgirl added. "Yeah, The good guys that sunk my!-"

"That's enough outta you!" I cop said covering Columbines mouth.

"Now I wanna know, who put Rose Bard into the trunk of the Bat-mobile. And no finger pointing."

Like clockwork, we all pointed to each other. "THEY DID!'

Obviously, them being the supposed good guys, they leaned towards them being right. They asked me for my story first, being that at that point I was the only one not yelling. "The last time I saw Rose, alive, Robin was carrying her out the window of that building." I said pointing. "I saw that too, so I ran after him."

"Why? So you could get your hostage back!" Batgirl yelled.

"_Enough,_ interrupting." Gordon commanded. "Pant-a-loon, you were saying?"

"Right, well, seeing Bird boy here carrying his girlfriend didn't make him to happy. Seeing that he didn't even know she was here. After he went after him, that was the last I saw of her. When I walked out I saw Robin and Columbine fighting, but no Rose." I finished.

Gordon nodded. "I'll believe that, _from you._" he said.

Gordon respected my honesty a lot. I was never a good liar, so I just tell the truth, call me country but hey, it's how I roll.

"Whoa whoa whoa wait hold up." Robin said. "That was not your girlfriend.

"Yeah she is," Columbine and I said together. Robin leaned in, "Then how come she said you took her hostage? Hmm? And why was she so grateful to have a hero rescue her? So happy enough, that she kissed me."

We about dropped dead at that point. Columbine looked terrifying, he had been cheated, and in more ways than one. There was a long angry silence, so I had to break the tension. "So _that's_ why your lip gloss. Phew, boy howdy, for a moment there, I thought you were gay. After all, you do travel around with a chick and another man, and you always lean toward Batsy. Plus you were them tights, and your underwear's on the outside of your pants and they're super tight and we still don't see an outline, _of anything"_

"Alright enough!" Batman yelled.

He and Robin were actually the only ones not smiling at that point.

"Well if you supposedly _kissed her,_ why was she unconscious?" Columbine asked. "Good question." Gordon added. "Well, after we kissed, she started, choking, and wasn't able to breath. I was scared I didn't know what was happening. She hit the floor and passed out. So I carried her out the window and..." he drew blank.

"Then what?" Gordon asked. We were all staring for an answer.

"I don't,... know what happened next..." he said. Columbine started yelling many, many words that are not exactly child friendly. Even worse, he was so mad he started switching out between screaming in English and Italian. "He's guilty! What kind of answer is that!"

"A guilty one!" I yelled.

"They've got a point." Gordon added. "Thank you!"

"They're right Robin, what do you mean you don't know?" Batman asked.

"I don't know, I went blank. I carry her out, next thing I knew she was gone and I was fighting Columbine."

"Alright Alright everyone in the cars! Your all going downtown for questioning!" Gordon yelled. So we all got into the cars.

Now about a week later, it's only me and Columbine in here at Arkham. But the whole city, thinks Robin is guilty. Columbine is heartbroken, because the doctors keep pushing him for his confession. But he was not in the wrong. He wouldn't kill her, he loved her. I'm sure he felt awful, because he thought he loved her too, but in the end she cheated on him. Why would she do that to him?

…...

Columbine

I sat in my cell in Arkham. It was somewhere late in the night, but seeing as there's hardly a window in the entire building, I wasn't to sure. I kept thinking about her. Why did I fall for her so easy? She was pretty, she was funny, she was smart, she was made me do things I would never do. I wish I knew why she cheated me in the end.

My room, charming as it is with it's gray on gray paint colors and brilliant decor of a stainless steel cot, seemed very blurry and out of focus tonight. I heard someone at my door. The night nurse had already been around tonight so who could it be?

Somebody swept in through the door, but it was like looking at a shadow. I was half asleep, so I just decided to cast it off as a door check. Make sure I wasn't doing anything to the locks to get out at night. I felt something the side of my bed.

"Psst, wake up." something said. I turned my head, and it looked like I was staring at a cat.

"Waake uuup!" it said again.

"Who are you?" I asked, feeling a bit foolish. I must be a dreaming. It hopped into my bed, it was definitely a person. A girl. "It's me stupid." she said. "Um, hello there then stupid."

she shook me. "It's Juliet."

I shot straight up in my bed, "No way, this is a dream, your dead." I said. "Nooo, Rose Nicole Bard, is dead. Juliet Diamond um,... Blank, is still alive." she said. "No, your dead." I assured. "I saw you die,". She stood back and twirled around. "Do I look dead to you, now?" she asked. "I don't know, I can't see very well." I admitted. She cocked her, "Here," she sat back on the bed, and wiped my eyes. "No wonder, your eyes are full of tears."

"WHAT?" I haven't cried since, I don't even know when.

I felt my eyes, they were indeed wet. Wow. I stared at her again. She looked just like Juliet. Smelt just like Juliet, and inside I really felt that she _was_ Juliet. She laid next to me fiddling with my hair. "I have to me dreaming, because this can't be real." She sighed and wrapped her arms around me, "Does it feel real?" she asked.

"Yes," I said before thinking. Then I accepted it. This is Juliet, she's alive. I could and hear her heartbeat, I could feel the warmth of her skin in her strange new clothes, I could see her startlingly blue eyes.

"I'm sorry" she said. "For?" I asked. "Making you worry, not letting you in our plan, ummm, kissing bird boy, God, you realize I had to drink mouthwash for 3 days straight after that?"

I chuckled, "It's all behind us now, so how'd you do it? Fake your own death?"

"Well, when dad and I found out, we started plotting, it was my idea to fake my death, but he made it all possible. He figured since you made me worry that one night, when you faked your death, it would be even to do with me. Dad's mind works odd, but it's like, the same way as mine."

"Whoa wait, you and Bert Collaborated on faking your own death?" I asked confused. "Bert? No, Ew. Turns out, he's not my dad."

"Then who is?"

"Well,..." she wandered off. "Long story short, I'm,... The Jokers,... daughter."

I looked down at her. "Baby, this is the beginning, of what's going to be the worlds greatest relationship then." I assured. She smiled broadly. I knew she was worried on how I would accept her after telling me, but I was thrilled.

I'm one the greatest thieves in modern day Gotham, and I'm a teenager. And a great teenage villain, needs a sexy teenage girlfriend. And who better, than the stunning, killer, psycho-sexy daughter, of Harley Quinn and The Joker?

This was going to be good...


End file.
